“Narcspeak” IS Neural Linguistic Programing (NLP)

I’ve determined that “narcspeak”…that word garbage, mind-control style manner in which a narcissist uses words to manipulate and control others…is nothing more than a base model version of Neural Linguistic Programming or NLP, a marketing science developed in the 70’s that uses words and body language to influence people into thinking a very specific way. I’m so sure of this connection, in fact, that, for the sake of this article, I’ve decided to rename this very questionable marketing “science” Narcspeak Neural Linguistic Programming or NNLP. This gets good, just wait!

Zari Discusses NNLP on YouTube

So, I stumbled down the NLP rabbit hole after reading an article advocating the use of NLP in not only sales and marketing but also as a way to influence people and “get ahead in life”. Immediately, my mind went to narcspeak and word salad and word garbage and all those terms we use to describe how a narcissist can twist a conversation to serve a purpose. By speaking just a few words in a specific tone and sometimes by not speaking at all, a narcissist can distract, confuse and manipulate an innocent target into backing down, giving up or apologizing for EVERYTHING.  The nefarious similarities between the manipulative nature of narcspeak and the mind-control headiness of NLP were astounding. I had to wonder…like the chicken and the egg, what came first, narcissism or NLP? Did some diabolical, self-aware narcissist in the 70’s decide to sell the concept of narcspeak manipulation to the public under the guise of self-help and make a few million? Given the crazy and somewhat gruesome origins of NLP, this is exactly what happened.

Murder, Mind Control & Money

One of the co-creators of NLP was a man named Richard Bandler. In the early 70s, Bandler, then a computer tech student at UC Santa Cruz, teamed up with a guy named John Grinder, an associate professor of linguistics, also at UC, and the two embarked on a journey to study human behavior. The story goes that both men were curious about how and why some people obtained success in life and others did not. This curiosity led them to develop NLP, a “human behavior technology” using words and body language that could effectively change the way humans interact…through manipulation or mind-control. This new “technology” made both men very wealthy.

successful in what they did than others. At the peak of his celebrity and long after he’d become very wealthy from his “invention”, Bandler shot his girlfriend in the head and was acquitted in a court of law despite the fact that the evidence presented by the prosecuting attorney should have been a no-brainer. Without question, he did it. in the case as presented was an overwhelming no-brainer: he did it. Taking the stand in his own defense (a rarity in murder trials since defendants tend to incriminate themselves), Bandler was able to convince the jury of his innocence. Rumor has it that he used NLP to manipulate the jury’s decision and to that, I say: well, of course he did…he was the NLP MASTER! I imagine the prosecutors cringed in horror as he raised his right hand. Nonetheless, Bandler was acquitted of all charges and continued to woo the marketing world, making a few million more in the years to come, as if nothing ever happened. How’s that  for narcissistic success?

Wait…but there’s more!

Apparently, Bandler’s case – and the obvious evidence therein – didn’t deter other “self-help” gurus, including Anthony Robbins, from studying and training under the NLP Master after the fact, consequently becoming mega-millionaires themselves using this style of persuasive marketing on the masses. Moreover, when the CIA, FBI, and facets of the US Army caught a whiff of this new style of mind control, they also came on board using taxpayer dollars for intensive research, a fact alone that proves that nothing about NLP could possibly be good or beneficial to the population. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up!

So, what is it about NLP that smacks of narcspeak and narcissistic behavior? Well, for one, the use of ‘mirroring’. To start, someone educated in NLP will pay extremely close attention to the target they’ve set their sights upon. He or she will look for subtle cues – physical movements, body language, etc. – to pin point vulnerabilities and emotional portals. An NLPer, like a narcissist, can usually read a person in mere minutes. My ex bragged about having this very talent. I call the result of this people-reading phenomena the Soul Mate Effect as suddenly we’ve discovered our match made in heaven! The truth, of course, is that it is all part of a very clever mind control strategy used to build amazing rapports under false pretenses. Hence, a target’s feeling during the Love Bombing stage and throughout the relationship with a narc, that he or she is under a “spell”.

In his article, 10 Ways to Protect Yourself from NLP Mind Control, writer Jason Louv says this:

Once rapport is achieved, the NLPer will then begin subtly leading the interaction. Having mirrored the other person, they can now make subtle changes to actually influence the other person’s behavior. Combined with subtle language patterns, leading questions and a whole slew of other techniques, a skilled NLPer can at this point steer the other person wherever they like, as long as the other person isn’t aware of what’s happening and thinks everything is arising organically, or has given consent.  

Hmmmm….sound familiar? Or how about this, from the same article:

From this point, the NLPer will seek to do two things—elicit and anchor. Eliciting happens when an NLPer uses leading and language to engineer an emotional state—for instance, hunger. Once a state has been elicited, the NLPer can then anchor it with a physical cue—for instance, touching your shoulder. In theory, if done right, the NLPer can then call up the hungry state any time they touch your shoulder in the same way. It’s conditioning, plain and simple.

The above had a specific meaning for me in retrospect. My ex used to smugly say, “It’s all in the caress”. He could calm me down or get me in the mood with just a touch and I’m sure he’d been using this anchoring technique and talent all his relationship life. If I was upset or desperate to see him and attempting to smoke him out of a silent treatment, I would yearn…ache…for that anchor touch. Professional sales and marketing NLPers use touch and also certain words to lull their consumer-oriented targets into submission. Hypnotists and mentalists do this as well. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the narcissist is, in fact, a mentalist of the emotional kind.

In my mind, the narcissist most certainly was the original NLPer and creator of the science of manipulation. I also believe that these talents weren’t necessarily learned. In my opinion, to someone with a personality disorder, the ability to manipulate and hypnotize comes as ornate and as naturally as taking a breathe.  Undoubtedly, a narcissist is pretty amazed at his or her own ability to “read a person in five minutes” (as my ex would gleefully say!) without an education in mind control. Its akin to having super powers and makes the job of being an ever-evolving Puppeteer that much easier.

So, how DO you avoid being mind-controlled by, say, a narcissist that comes up on you or sees you from across a crowded room and targets you like an arrow to a bullseye? For a few simple answers to that, click over to my video above and I’ll give you some pointers. It’s not as difficult as one might think. All you have to do is open your eyes and ears and pay mindful attention.

Since the world is filled to the brim with narcissists disguised as normal people, I believe that educating oneself on the nuances of both Narcspeak and Neural Linguistic Programming is very important. In doing this, we can then use our knowledge to recover from narcissist abuse syndrome with confidence and eliminate, in all aspects of our lives, this  very effective form of mind control.