One of the most frequent questions I get asked about narcissists is whether or not they know right from wrong. It appears, obviously, that they don’t because how else could they possibly keep doing all those hurtful things over and over and over? Some people (i.e. experts) will say that they don’t as well…that narcissists
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5 Illogical Reasons Why We Stay With a Narcissist
Okay, so why do we stay with a narcissistic abuser even when we know better? Even when we, as smart, educated, and “normal” people, realize that something about this person is uncomfortably off? Even as we watch the last slivers of our former self – the person we were before the narc – fly out
Narcissists & The Game of Life
In The Game of Life, players who have a narcissistic personality will always play by a different set of rules than everyone else on the game board. To all normal players, the point of The Game – as reflected in the rules – is not so much about winning as it is about collecting as
Narcissist Abuse: Getting a Grip on Relationship Amnesia
However you may feel about the narcissist in your life, it’s important to know that he/she didn’t get this way overnight. Our brain often refuses to believe this. Every day, I hear from both women and men who adamantly insist that they were blind-sided by certain narcissistic behaviors. The source of their pain is a
Don’t Be a Narcissist’s Enabler
At that grandiose point that we realize that our partner is a narcissist/sociopath, we can also assume that we’ve been his/her enabler for a very long time. Our codependency to the narcissist and to the relationship drama itself has almost has as much to do with our allowing it as it does with the narcissist’s
The Narcissistic Partner is a Pretender Extraordinaire
Since the narcissist is unable to feel true human emotion (except for, perhaps, rage), he has, throughout life, learned to mimic the emotions he needs to get exactly what he wants. He is a pretender extraordinaire…an emotional impersonator…..and it’s no wonder we fall for The Lie because this person is really very, very good at
Plausible Deniability is the Narcissist’s Free Pass
When the narcissist is confronted with a lie, he will instantly create plausible deniability so that doubt is cast on the very facts/evidence laid out before him (or her!). Within seconds, a narcissist can spin a story to cover a story to cover a story, intentionally confusing the accusing partner who has typically taken great
Narcissist Abuse & the Torment of Cognitive Dissonance
By definition, cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort a person feels when he or she holds conflicting beliefs about something simultaneously. When we’re involved with a narcissist, cognitive dissonance is a psychological state that keeps us clinging to a narcissistic partner even when we know he/she is completely incapable of ever loving us. In other
Narcissists, Sex, & the No-Preference World
When it comes to narcissists and sex, we have to understand that the narcissist has no preference in who they fuck. No preference at all. In fact, a narcissist lives in a world of no-preference where he/she finds something fuckable in everybody. Once we understand and accept this, we see clearly that the problem isn’t
Letting Go of the Narcissist Abuser
To begin to let go of the narcissist, we must release the past and choose to live in the here and now. This, my friends, is the only answer to the (heart) aches and pains that we feel after it finally ends with our narcissistic partner. There was nothing we could have ever done, no