Once again, I’m compelled to present a slightly offbeat perspective to an aspect of the narcissist abuse recovery process – and this time it’s about forgiveness. Like many of my perspectives, this one differs greatly from the norm in that it doesn’t subscribe to any part of a “victim blame” philosophy. To the contrary, it
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Breaking Our Narc Addiction: The Truth About Suffering
Mentally letting go of the narcissist is never going to happen as fast as we’d like unless we starting taking credit for recovery time served. If we did that…if we realized that there are phases to the suffering post-break-up with a narcissist and that, for the most part, we’ve moved through them successfully without even
Does the Narcissist Miss Me?
Whether it’s during a break-up or a silent treatment (a break-up in disguise), we always want to know what the narcissist is feeling? Does he miss me? Does he think about me? Does he know he made a mistake? Will he ever know that he made a mistake? We obsess about the question of how
Debunking the Narcissist’s Smear Campaign
When we dump a narcissist or a narcissist dumps us, one of the first things that they do (to make themselves feel better) is embark on a smear campaign. Somehow, running a smear campaign provides the narcissist justification as to why we were never worthy of their presence to begin with. By talking smack around
“A Bittersweet Good-By” (A Poem to a Narcissist)
Narcissistic partners suck – we know that. No matter what we do or say, they can’t love us and we can’t fix them. Inevitably, the good-by is bittersweet. From one silent treatment to the next, amidst all the hoovering and narcissistic discards, we hope and grieve and hope and grieve until our hearts have no
Breaking No Contact: 7 Tips to Avoid a Relapse
For every narcissist abuse victim who initiates No Contact, there will inevitably be times where a relapse back to the N feels like the path of least resistance. This is the time that we have to really concentrate on standing our ground and it takes a bit of mental work to do it. During consults,
Surviving the Narcissist: A Reflective Q & A
As most of you know, when we become involved with narcissistic partners, our lives become completely interchangeable. The shock of seeing ourselves in the stories of others is usually our first “aha” moment and it forever changes us. My story becomes your story becomes her story becomes his story. As my first book When Love
Did a Narcissist Puppeteer Create YOUR Reality?
The narcissist is a Master Puppeteer who has the amazing ability to turn unwitting humans into his own personal puppets. If you happen to be his partner (a.k.a. The Person Who Loves Him), the narcissist will basically create and shape your reality to suit his purpose and you’ll become a puppet before you even know
Narcissists & the Power of Passive-Aggression
A narcissist’s use of passive-aggression is one of the most powerful weapons in his arsenal of evil tricks. I never even fully understood the meaning of passive-aggression until many years into my relationship with an N when it finally “clicked”. And I’m a college-educated woman! The truth is that, for many of us, life before
Narcissist Abuse: Finding Support When Nobody “Gets It”
For narcissist abuse victims, the key to recovery is finding support from those who actually know what we’re going through…and by this, I mean really know what we’re going through. Family and friends who try to console us grow weary of the drama and sometimes run the other way – and we can hardly blame