Is the Narcissist Happy Now? (A Reality Check)

I don’t know what I should call my husband…..I’ve been married 26 years some days are good if he’s busy with his job and leaves me alone…. But I’m scared to even talk to me because it’s always refer to some bf in my past which makes me uncomfortable. I was dating my husband of 26 years for 10 years before marrying him. I’m from a family where I lost my dad at 3 my mum was 26 with 5 children so life was always hard.
Then I met my husband he was charming and took care if me…..I was 14 he 19…. I was away in boarding school n met him on my vacation he was my cousins friend…..anyhow we broke up early because my brother in law tried to abuse me ,nothing happened as I managed to escape. I was so shaken up that I broke up with my bf he then got another gf but we got back and he never broke up with this girl this went on for years till she finally got married….on n off we would break up as he used to beat me up….and then I went away to work and I cheated on him too ….I was 16 and it happened a couple of times till I was 18….anyhow he managed to get everything out of me and I told him what I did but he wants details I mean it makes me feel terrible…..so we married when I was 23 but he makes me suffer because he says I’m a cheater and does not wish me on my birthdays and such….but I told him with who and what I did but how do I give graphic details ?
Now once I’ve been married to him I’ve never cheated or anything and he’s the one who has and when I found out he says I cannot say anything because I was worse….
I’ve lived thes years walking on egg shells and I’m scared of him because even if he’s in the wrong he gives me the silent treatment which can go on for months if I don’t grovel and try to make it ok…..now the most resent thing that happens just now which has really upset me because I’m getting the silent treatment….he went on my fb account which he always goes on….I don’t have my ex bf from school on my account but he found him and sent him a message like ” hey it’s been a long time how have you been” I saw it and delegated it but did not question him….now today he insists I sent the msg and that I sent it in 2013 but I did not I don’t even have him on fb….he’s calling me a liar n refusing to talk to me….I know he sent it because I was not at home that evening and I saw the time it was sent….I can’t take this anymore but I have nowhere to go ????

My husband of 11 months cheated on me after our first disagreement ever. I am/was a submissive wife as I am a Christian and let him be the head of the household. The signs were there that he’s a narc now that I look back. I was love bombed, I was his soulmate, he said he loved me on our first date. We married 4 months after meeting. Things were great until the disagreement in March. A week after the disagreement he started an affair. I was 5 months pregnant at that time. He didn’t tell his coworker/woman he cheated with that I was even pregnant. He has now decided that this is who he is and if I can’t accept him for who he is then we need to divorce. He said if I was willing to stay married and be a family but let him act single then we could be together. Of course I chose to leave. I haven’t heard from him since. He doesn’t care how the pregnancy is going, lost a custody battle for his daughter with his ex because she was only willing to let us have his daughter if I was in the picture and has moved on with this other woman. I was told by his ex to expect him to make the custody issue we will have a living hell. How can he just walk out on me, his step daughter, the baby I’m carrying and lose his own daughter with no remorse? He told the other woman in a text that he had no regrets. He was in love with her and married to me. They had only been seeing each other for three weeks when he sent that text and that’s the one I found. He acted completely normal, loving and we were still intimate until the day I found out and then everything changed. I don’t understand it. After all my research I am positive he is a narc. How did I get so fooled? Now I have filed for legal separation asking for spousal support because he also left me with no money. I fear when we go through the divorce or when he tries to come back as I’ve read they all do just to prove the control they still have over their victims. I’m not sure why I’m sharing or what I want to gain from sharing. It’s just hard still. I get stronger everyday and I guess the no contact is working because he’s the one not contacting me. I don’t contact him either. I begged enough when I found out about the affair. I’m tired and done begging.

And why does it seem like these people get away with everything? I swear they seem to just sail through life with no strife whatsoever. I’m not complaining, I’m very blessed and would never trade my life for his but some days, it’s like damn when are they going to pay for what they do???

How long do we have to suffer at the hands of these people? I have been away from my ex for many years now but because we share a son, he still uses every opportunity he can to hurt/control me. I still haven’t moved on with my life with someone else,my son comes firstand always will but ultimately its because I scared to death to trust anyone ever again. The hell I was put through by this monster was horrific.I swear if you looked up Narcissist in the dictionary, you would find a picture of my ex. I could literally write a book about my experience and it seem it is never going to end!

I find myself struggling so much right now. My EX N is getting married. We have been split up for over year now. However, seeing one another after the split up, all the way up until a week before his public announcement that he was dating someone else. Four months later, he’s getting married to her. And as much as I know that he is not right for me and the mental abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse has now ended for good, I cannot stop thinking about what was so wrong with me during our 5 year relationship? About the time that I invested wanting everything she is now getting. It doesn’t seem fair that he gets “love”, a “marriage”, security, etc. when that is what I fought very, very, very hard for all that time I was with him. Someone told me recently, that it was because I saw his true colors. That I wouldn’t allow the abuse to continue any longer. Maybe that is true. However, I am the one who appears to be hurting and unable to move on in my life because of the scars that he left upon me. so, does that make all that he told me, confided in me, thought, felt… was that all just a lie? Was there ever any real love for me? I cannot understand how he could move on and get married when I barely can make it out of bed some days let alone fall in love with another person yet. I do not know how to close this chapter in my life.

Hi, I was in an unhappy marriage when I met my N. I separated and my ex husband filed for divorce. I moved out of my ex husbands house but we still talked bc we have 3 kids together. I got pregnant by my Narc. I decided to give him a chance instead of reconciling with my husband, big mistake. My Narc is a 3 time felon and had a history of violence but he told me horrible stories about his wife that he had been separated from for years. They have 3 kids also. I got divorced and we moved in together. It was soon after that he told me he was bipolar. We couldn’t afford for him to get a divorce or his drivers license bc I couldn’t hardly work due to my pregnancy. We had a healthy beautiful little girl. My tax return came in and I paid off the mattress to his bed and he went and got a tv and PlayStation 4. He wouldn’t let me pay for his divorce or his drivers license. I also let him talk me into not going back to my good paying job and instead go to work and rely on him to support me and my kids plus his and our 1. He soon quit his job bc he had a better opputonity come his way but it didn’t work out like planned. I had to quit school and find a job. He would throw up in my face that it’s my turn to support him and all the kids. He finally got a part time job at a liquor store and well things started going down even more from there. He left me and his kids one weekend and partied all weekend. I located him and we went to get him. I had some warn me he was back on his drugs and for me to get out. On Fourth of July last year we got into an agreement over my son staying with friends all the time. I apologized for my son and my kids having a social life and well this made his 11 year old daughter start crying bc I said they didn’t have friends. I confronted his daughter and he didn’t like it and shoved me 3 times in front of my daughters and told me not to talk to his. He did this while I was holding our daughter. I told my 11 year old daughter to call 911 but then I told her to stop bc I didn’t want his kids to see their dad go back to jail for the I don’t know how many times. His kids have seen a lot between him and their mother, I didn’t want them to see that again. So I called his mom and got his friends number. His mom told me to leave but I had to many kids to take care of by the way he was drunk, very drunk. I had his friend come get him out of the house. Weeks later my ex served me with papers removing our kids. A month later I suspected my N was talking to someone else. In the mean time an old friend of his started talking to me and telling me how he is and that I was being used bc that how he is. I finally got up the courage to leave. It was bad. I ended up getting an order of protection bc I was getting scared. He literally had me thinking I was going crazy. Well I dropped the order of protection in February so that we could try and parent. This new woman he has paid for his divorce and drivers license plus got him a truck and is buying them a house. His divorce was final on a Friday and they married Monday. He gets our daughter for 6 weeks this summer and refuses for me to have her unless it’s our weekend. He say I’m in his shoes now. He also says I’m jealous of his woman and that I need to stop being so pathetic. His knew woman is known as a drug head hoe and she always leaves her kids to take care of his. He also admitted to me that he started talking to his new woman in August, when I started to suspect he had someone else. I still let him get to me with his words and it hurts so much. He told me that he and my ex husband our doing better than me since I left them and that I need to stop saying my ex husband wanted me back bc he didn’t, which in fact he did even knowing I was pregnant with another mans child. I told him that I’m not jealous of her bc there is nothing to be jealous of they both cheated to be with each other. I also told him that I was glad to be away from him. I’m more worried about our daughter. His other kids are afraid of him and I don’t want our daughter afraid of him. I want her to have a voice and know it’s ok. Everything I pick our 17 month old daughter up she has a diaper rash and comes straight to me. When she has to go with him she cries. He gets her for 6 weeks and I’ve asked that we do one week in and one week off. He refuses bc I kept him from her and he needs this time to build with her. I’m so worried bc she has not ever been away from me this long and what condition will I get her back in?

I’d like to share my thoughts, feelings and experience of an ex who I believe to be a text book narcissist but unfortunately I’m a man and the narc in question is a woman so I’m not sure if my story would be accepted or believed on here as it appears that like most websites and blogs the narcissists is always male

Can ‘he’ be replaced with ‘she’………Can ‘him’ be replaced with ‘her’…….Can a man be a victim of narcissistic abuse from a women?