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Letting Go of the Narcissist Abuser

letting-go-of-the-narcissist
Zari Ballard’s Blog, TheNarcissisticPersonality.com

To begin to let go of the narcissist, we must release the past and choose to live in the here and now. This, my friends, is the only answer to the (heart) aches and pains that we feel after it finally ends with our narcissistic partner. There was nothing we could have ever done, no love we could have ever shown, and no words we could have ever spoken to this person that would have ever made a difference in the outcome.  It’s hard to accept and sadder than sad – I know. But it is what it is and life simply has to go on.

About an hour ago, I was actually on the fence about what to focus on for my next post. Then, I went to my email and found this from Daily OM as my horoscope for the day:

 

Release the Past
Aries Daily Horoscope (Daily OM)

You may notice mood swings today that may be due to memories from the past. There could be many emotional triggers that leave you feeling uncertain about how to handle various situations. You might feel that the past is more present to you than the present and that your ways of dealing with what arises doesn’t reflect who you are but rather who you were. Today would be a good time to become aware of these triggers and remind yourself that the past cannot hurt you. Should you feel that your thoughts about what happened previously affect your frame of mind, you can gently tell yourself that they have no power over you now. You might even repeat to yourself, “I am here in the now.” You could find that this helps you live more in the present and could help lighten your mood.

Reminding ourselves that the past holds no sway over us allows us to live in the present moment. It is easy for us to define ourselves and our actions based on either our past experiences, moods, or defense mechanisms. However, when we consciously bring ourselves into the now, our problems with the past dissipate. We see that there is very little in the present that threatens us and that the only thing in life we can change is our minds—we can’t change anything about the past. By releasing the power the past has over you today, you will discover the sweet wonders that await you in the present.

Wow. I instantly had to share this with you because it speaks of the one powerful Universal magic (solution) that actually has the potential to fix us once and for all…to take away our heartache forever…to fade the narcissist (and all his evilness) into total oblivion. It is the magic that makes a narcissist’s silent treatment our best friend and cognitive dissonance a figment of our imagination.  It is the magic that instantly creates the closure from the narcissist that we’ve been searching for. And this magic (solution), if we so choose to believe, is right at our fingertips all of the time.

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It is the power of the here and now…the power of the present moment. If we live in the here and now….if we choose to be mindful (no matter how hard it appears to be to do it) of only this moment and nothing else….if we practice this every day and especially each time a memory of the narcissist (good or bad) invades our thinking, we can finally detach from the pain. We can experience the pain, acknowledge it, and let it go. The here and now is the foundation for No Contact.

Because the truth is that in this very moment the N has no bearing on your life. In this very moment, he does not exist because he is not with you. It’s easy to maintain the No Contact Rule with someone who doesn’t exist! And the past…well, it’s the past…and the past (yesterday, last month, last year…) can not touch you in this very moment. It is behind you and you, therefore, must release it. Releasing the past is the logical thing to do – and you simply can’t argue with logic.

That which is behind you can not hurt you, my friend. Let your heart not be troubled. Believe in this and you too will become free. It will happen, I promise you.

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56 Comments

  • Shandra Alafa

    April 18, 2021 at 4:48 am Reply

    I been up for hours reading this because I caught him red handed and he still admit. I’m blocked on everything emails, phone, social media. I still keep collecting the evidence and yesterday he couldn’t deny it but he wont talk to me after three years and a 2month old baby. Hess every thing in every article or story and I didn’t want to believe it. This time the affair is a relationship and it has been a week. He came to my apt to pick up the baby and I would not go downstairs. This time he let me have and he chose her and making it seem like I am crazy. I always had some proof but he made me believe was crazy.I knew this day would come but I thought a bobby would get us through. I fucking hate him and still want an explanations that could just be a lie. I take medicine for bipolar depression and I still going crazy. and your so right they will fuck anything. the current girl gets to stay because I am done. I am tired and beat up mentally that I am second guessing taking him back. And the girlified he is not claiming was a hooker. I’m almost done with my bachelor degree, I have my own place and my kids and he choose her. usually when I catch him social media is deleted , girl is history when the other baby mom was dismissed. I need support to get through this and not believe his shit no more. HE never loved me who does that… I need to regroup I got my answers thank you. My baby needs me. FML FML FML

  • Lilian

    October 16, 2019 at 2:17 am Reply

    this is a great article living in now and the N not here, thank u for reminding me.

  • Elena

    November 20, 2018 at 1:33 pm Reply

    I walked away from a short but intense relationship after the controlling and verbal abuse got to be too much. It’s been 3 weeks No Contact but I’m still plagued by feelings like maybe I could have done something different to alter the outcome. I’ve been hoping for an apology that I know will never come. I’m hurt that he would rather walk away than try to make it right. But I also know that he is unable to feel remorse or empathy. It’s just so hurtful…

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