To Male Victims of Female Narcissistic Partners

By Zari Ballard

Male victims of female narcissistic partners have a harder path to walk (than female victims) on the road to narcissist abuse recovery and here’s how I came to this conclusion: In making this website, I take great pains in trying to address those topics related to narcissism that weigh the most heavily on the minds of my readers. To do this, I study the analytical data and statistics of the website itself on almost a daily basis. This data provides me with the gender of visitors, the demographics, the keyword search terms that visitors use, and a whole host of additional information. From the very beginning, I noticed something very interesting – and shocking – about the gender of my readers: a good portion were male. And I’m not talking just a small percentage. I’m talking a percentage big enough that for me not to address the specific issue of male victims of female narcissist abuse would be not only unfair but completely hypocritical.

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So, that being said, I’ve written the following personal letter to all male victims who endure narcissist abuse at the hands of a female narcissist…all those males victims that visit numerous websites (including mine) looking for support on the subject of female narcissist partners, narcissist abuse, and narcissist recovery and who typically find nothing that speaks to them.

To Male Victims of Female Narcissist Abusers:

First, let me apologize on behalf of all female victims, website bloggers, and authors of books on narcissism for perhaps the biggest “slap-in-the-face” we send to the male victim of narcissist abuse: the constant referral to the narcissistic partner as he and him. Although I do make a disclaimer as to this reference in my books and have, in fact, written a book (When Evil Is a Pretty Face) that specifically addresses the female narcissistic partner, it still must be painfully annoying and I’m sorry for that. Now, unfortunately, having said that, it’s doubtful that, at least online, this reference to the male gender will change anytime soon. The fact is that, at least for me, it’s simply easier to refer to all narcissists as he since 1) the majority of victims who speak out on the topic are indeed female and have suffered abuse at the hands of male narcissists, and 2) most narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths happen to be male, and 3) I speak from my own experience as a female victim. So, I hope you can forgive and see past all that when seeking comfort for your own abuse on my website and others. I, for one, can promise you that the reference isn’t personal.

Second, let me say that, after reading through letters and forum posts both on my site and on other sites from male victims, I get the sneaking suspicion that female narcissists, though smaller in number than their male counterparts, might very well be the leaders in the evil department – and there ‘s a logical reason why. Considering that women, as a whole, can be fairly cunning, imagine how sneaky a narcissistic female can be! Male narcissists (MN), even while tormenting the female victim, still have to worry about maintaining the proper image in the global arena (i.e. outside world). Female narcissists (FN), on the other hand, are keenly aware that females in general pull in far more sympathy from outsiders than even the most victimized male and so the load for the FN is much lighter. FNs, without the extra workload of having to instantly smooze anyone and everyone who might sympathize with their victim, may very well be naturally inclined to do the more evil of narcissistic deeds – whatever that may be. Knowing how narcissists think, I can easily imagine an FN taunting a male partner with “Go ahead! Tell everyone that I vanished for six weeks and you caught me with someone else. I don’t care! All I have to do is cry a few tears and I’ll have the whole world believing that you are just a lazy, abusive dog and that I’m the victim! ” You get my point. There are other reasons that lend themselves to the fact that female narcissists may be nastier and I promise to address this in future articles. For now, I want you to know that I do “get it”.

I must say that I’m very proud of the fact that when I do read letters/comments from male victims, the female victims on these sites step up to the challenge of being supportive. The truth is that I think most female victims feel as I do – that male victims are very isolated in this mess (as a whole) and do not have a whole lot of male-exclusive “victim” clubs to run to for support. Another truth is that, for the most part, female victims know that male narcissists – even though there are millions walking the planet – do not, exclusively, speak for the male population. We want to know that there are good guys out there! We want to know that the male gender can actually experience the heartbreak that we feel – that it’s actually possible. You won’t find female victims accusing you of whining, I’ll guarantee that. At the peak of our suffering, male victims are our only proof we have that good men even exist anymore! So, we want to hear from you! We want you to join the sisterhood!

My point in all of this is that I encourage you – the male victim of a narcissistic partner – to seek support among us. We are here to listen and to help. Narc abuse is unique in its passive-aggressive evilness. We know that you suffer through silent treatments and deliberate acts of chaos and gas lighting and co-dependency and all the types of manipulation that we suffer through. As I said before, we may even be inclined to believe that your specific degree of suffering is a tad worse. As for me, I definitely acknowledge the credit you deserve for putting up with the inevitable reference to narcissists as male because that is unlikely to change. This must always be a point of contention and the fact that male victims, for lack of a better place to go, even dare to brave the all-female forums to share your grief is admirable. Understand that female victims appreciate this fact and will recognize your sincerity.

To everyone, with the pain of a narcissistic discard often so indescribable that we feel nothing but isolation, all victims – male and female – are welcome on this website. Together, we can spread the word about narcissism, lighten the burden for victims who follow us, and hopefully get a handle on the madness.

Your friend,

Zari

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299 Comments

Mike
October 11, 2017 at 9:50 pm Reply

I had hard the word narcissism used a lot but never really knew exactly what it meant. So I had a divorce after 13 years of marriage. She had an affair. I moved to a new state and stayed single for awhile. Then had a few dates that were kinda bad. So I met this beautiful sweet women who was everything I could dream of. We connected on evey level. So much in common. She was my soulmate. The sex was the best I ever had. She inflated my damaged ego and built me up to be the perfect man. That was short lived when her ex came into the picture. He sounded ,acted crazy. She played the damsel in distress to perfection. I was a V.Narcs. wet dream. Hook,line,and sinker. It changed and the men didn’t stop. The emotional abuse gradually become belittling and demeaning everything she once praised me for. Lying. Drugs use. Cheating. All were excused away.,then were blamed on me. I came back every time. She has a son that I love so much. Physical abuse started.. She had a whole life secret from me. People that only new the lies she had been telling behind my back to make her seem like the victim. Even my loyalty to her fueled the lies. She had been planning the discard of me for at least a year. I finally moved out. Or was forced out of our home. Then the real aggressive abuse hit. I was isolated and alone in her hometown. No one even knew. Her lies became gospel to almost all who knew me. I was losing my sanity and close to suicide. The third time I really considered it. Death had to be better than the non stop onslaught of hell. I was typing random things she had done on the internet, when I came across a article of a women who had a Narcissistic husband. It was like I was reading word for word my relationship, even the things I never told a soul. Not a few coincidences. It has been 4 month’s of horror but I found a support group and I’m trying to educate myself. But it’s a struggle everyday. I still hide in my house or at my garage only leaving to go to work and back. .I have learned to make myself as boring as a stone to her and that’s somewhat working for now. The no contact wasn’t working her son sought me out . She is taking out things on him now. He tells me and I see it in his actions. Hear it in his words. I’m surviving day by day. Right now she has started to be good to me again, but I know it just an act. Soon as I let my gaurd down she will try to crush me again. She has multiple men around her constantly. She trying to get me to bring her sons ATV over this Saturday and I know its a game to get me there to see her new man or men. She knows that it hurts me. .. I am broken inside. My soul has been damaged.
- Zari Ballard
  November 13, 2017 at 12:54 am Reply
  
  Hi Mike,
  
  Please, brother, why are you still broken??? Nothing about any of this is YOU. Moreover, suicide is NOT an option over anything or anyone let alone some piece of shit SOCIOPATHIC woman. Don’t play into her game and do not hide. If you feel that you will never be able to come out, then move again. Stand up for yourself. The girl you met is not the person that she really is. It was a short-lived illusion but that’s all it was. Switch your perspective. This girl is a piece of shit and the fact that you are apart means that you have dodged an asteroid. I just sent you a copy of my book about the female narc to the email that you used to write your post. It should help you understand what happened. Life is too short for any of this. Give yourself a chance to live….
  
  Zari:)
Vens
September 16, 2017 at 1:14 pm Reply

Hi Zari!

2 years ago when i met my ex girlfriend online i was in a vulnerable emotional period in my life,i felt how attractive i was to her and since she let me know that she was willing to hang out with me i didn’t waste any time and set up a date with her which she promptly accepted.

During the date,even though she also asked me some questions about myself, she made 95% of the talking. I had a weird gut feeling,specially when she started to talk about all her exes,how she loved them and how she got mistreated and got dumped in return,i felt i was talking to a victim.

Her charm and pretty face made me ignore all that,i noticed how fast she was moving(she told me she likes me immediately after the first date and later on after 6 months she was talaking about our marriage in an affirmative way),i was in control of my feelings so i let her move as fast as she wanted to.She claimed all my free time,i didn’t resist because at that time i also wanted to hang out and meet people.

After the first few dates in just 2 weeks,i literally felt that the relationship was old,comfortable because of how good the chemistry,sex,dates,interactions were.She is very touchy-feely,flirtatious and was very caring and sweet.But everytime she was talking about herself i could conclude that she is a good girl who the world has ignored,abused.So as an empathic person and seeing all the great qualities she showed to me,i started to like her more and give her love and support.

Knowing that i was going to leave the city for study purpose and still not deeply convinced of the relationship (it looked too good to be true)i kept my feelings in check in order to avoid disappointment on both sides.The day i was leaving i didn’t make her any promise but knew that i was willing to see her again.

She kept the relationship going on by calling me everyday,telling me sweet words which i reciprocated.After one month she decided to visit me and spent a few days with me.That’s when she totally swept me off my feet.I became sure of how she made me felt special,needed and she was acting like the woman i always wanted.

After that visit,everything suddenly felt different,less texting,she started to go to club weekly (an habit that i didn’t know about) and i noticed some narcissic tendencies from her,like showing off her body,beauty.During our conversations she often mentioned one of her exes or tell me about a guy who like her or bought her gifts.And when i call her off of a repeating bad behavior (like suddenly disappearing,not answering phone call,trying drugs,teasing guys at the club(she told me she want to make men want her but can’t get her)she respond defensively or when i insist or decide to break up she surrendered(falsely)and tell me she won’t do them anymore.

At that point,the relationship was a like roller coaster,she picked fight with me for no reason.(i was normally very happy during the ups which are when i go to visit her or when she come to visit me and constantly anxious and unable to focus on my own life during the downs which always began 1 month after each visit) .When she’s being distant,i ask her what’s wrong,she kept victimizing herself,and made me know that she is not easy to trust men,that she’s afraid that we will break up.I felt forced to prove her that i am a good man and she can count me.Everytime her mood changes was kind of too unbearable(because we were LDR and sometimes she made me felt guilty that i couldn’t be by her side),i wanted to let her go but she would always say something encouraging and make me stay.
After 6 months in the relationship i became the only one making things happened and get us to spend time together,i always bought in her no time because of work and money excuses.Her everyday texts, calls and couple’s plan to travel kept me hooked.

During those past two years,despite of our constant short-lived ups and downs ,i dedicated all my holidays and free time to her.We visited some local cities and 3 countries together.I encouraged and supported her in her study,work(she is very unstable in those areas).We’ve never went a day without talking,she sent me gifts and sweet notes sometimes and i sent her too….Sometimes when we fight she would give me the silence treatment which i always break without giving in, not out of fear but because i interpreted it as a sign of insecurity and i knew she was always waiting for me to talk to her( i’m in love so it’s easier for me to swallow my pride).So in my eyes the relationship was just like a normal one with its own ups and downs.So i trusted her to go out clubbing with type of girls i wouldn’t trust because she told me she is not like them and don’t care when those girls sleep around,she always go back home alone(i later found out that she was the leader)and i try to understand when she told me she had at work,that’s why she can’t visit me(How naive i was!)

The second time we were getting ready to travel abroad,i had some money issues because of her bad timing,and i was so shocked by her reactions,she was unbelievably rude and merciless in her comments that i felt so inferior.After some heated arguments i decide to not go on that trip but as always,she apologized to make me stay and eventually we found a solution to still go on the trip.

After two amazing weeks travelling together,the day we were coming back home i went through her phone(for the first time),i was not suspicious just curious,and that’s when i discovered that she has two faces and had a double life.Her phone was full of guys hitting on her and to who she send nudes to regularly(same nudes she also send to me),2 to 3 of those guys are also her boyfriends to whom she also introduce to her best friend,and she had casual sex with others.At this point i felt that the girl i knew vanished from existance,everything was an illusion.During the last months of the relationship i felt some things were wrong like she was often emotionaly distant,never initiate sex and during our travel she was withholding it.I fought with her about her tendencies to control every aspect of the relation,she denies it but i never thought she would cheat on me.(like i said i was too naive)

After i broke up with her,she immediately took a plane and came looking for me , put on a desperate romantic show(crying,holding me) to try to get me back,a part of me wanted to find a solution, a way to continue with her but i knew it was over because nothing was real, still i was expecting some sincere apologies which i’ve never received,she said sorry but also said that she believes that she was still good too me,i had the feeling she had no remorse and she thinks highly of herself,so i didn’t take her back.

She is a cheater,lier,and was abusing my trust since the beginning,and later i learned that she also cheated on her ex before me and how slutty her behavior was when she goes to club(making out with strangers,doing drugs in toilet with stanger and probably had sex with them,she got drunk and had sex with one guy and did it with him again after she got sober etc…),i discovered on instagram that she has a new boyfriend for 9 months who she didn’t mention about when she came to me to ask for forgiveness.So i figured out that new boyfriend was the cause of the “pressure at work’ s excuse she gave me and asked me to understand.

After a month,my soul is still shaking,i went to many kind of emotions i’ve never felt before like(extreme anger,hate,need for for vengeance，need for justice etc…) I’m still being haunted by images where she’s cheating on me,i became low on self- esteem,lost weight and depressed.I know i have to go through that gut-wrenching pain and grieve her because i invested a lot of energy and made future plan with her. I just want to heal and move on but unfortunately it can’t be fast and i don’t know how to deal with the doubts that come and go, about giving her a chance if she comes back，and also i’m disappointed about myself when i think of how naive i was.In my efforts to move on, i made some drastic decision like blocking her on all my social media account,but it feels like withdrawing from a drug i’m deeply addicted to.

Thank you for reading my very long story and i’d like to know if it Would be possible that she has both Borderline and Narcissist personality disorder.
- Zari Ballard
  November 3, 2017 at 3:08 pm Reply
  
  Hi Vens,
  
  Since it has taken me so long to respond to you, anything could have happened. As soon as I finish this note, I am going to email you a copy of the book that I wrote for the guys called When Evil Is a Pretty Face. I know it will provide you comfort and answer your questions. Now, the borderline thing is tricky because as I see it, borderlines KNOW what they do and they WISH for it to be different. They do not LIKE to hurt people as narcissists do and will even try to get help. I’m not an expert by any means but this is what I see. I get that question a lot but I would have to say yes and no to whether there is a combo issue. I am going to send you the book right now from my yahoo email so please look for it, my friend…
  
  Zari xo
Jamie Holgate
August 30, 2017 at 2:10 am Reply

I was seeing a narc for about 4 months, i was totally unaware what a narc, we stared off great, id just come out of an 8th month relationship and was in a vulnerable place. She approached me on Instagram and literally swiped me off my feet. I wasn’t to know this but she was in a 2 year relationship at this point. Me unaware dated her and the first night we ended up back at what i thought was her house….but she cheated on her bf with me, I didn’t know. It was in his house in his bed. Anyway he threatened to kill me when he found texts on her phone off, he ended up kicking her out of the house so she moved back to her parents . She played the sob story to me and stupidly I stood by her and carried on seeing her. When I should of ran a mile!! She did say no relationship from day one to be fair to her but as time went on we Carried on doing all the relationship things…Anyway i carried on seeing her and sleeping with her etc…all good so I booked us to go ibiza for her birthday (4th September) as a surprise, I gave her clues every week for a month so she knew what was coming….soon as I told her the final clue, a few days after she did a complete u turn. Anyway when her bf kicked her out of the house 4 months ago she “lost” a pair of designer shoes so I replaced them £650 for her bday, as she made me feel guilty. Anyway the 6am good morning texts stopped, she didn’t reply to my texts and the phone calls where no longer being answered by her. i was totally confused and it sent me crazy, i gave her 2 weeks space, sleepless nights and totally head mess, she sent me snap chats of her on night out with another lad, so i retaliated and sent her a message saying why do that? she responded calling me crazy/deluded and saying she was single and could do what ever she wanted …. Anyway last Monday I needed answers why she did a complete u turn! I went to her parents house like a weirdo (bad move i know) she just drove me insane! She told me she didn’t want anything to do with me and told me she doesn’t like me like how like her, finally she said I was just a comfort blanket for her when she needed one …So after my visit I called her ex to apologize and he told me she’s been seeing someone else and also sleeping with him again, after she had found out id called her ex she called me all the names under the sun and blocked me on everything. Feel like I’ve been a secret / lie all along. Do you think she will come back around and try this again? she was beautiful looking and this is why she gets away with this? after investing all of my feelings into her i just feel like ive been a number to her and thats what im finding hard to move on from.
- Zari Ballard
  September 15, 2017 at 6:03 pm Reply
  
  Hi Jamie,
  
  Wow…she is the POSTER GIRL for the narcissistic female. Read my book When Evil Is a Pretty Face because you will likely feel as if you wrote it. I know it hurts, brother, but this girl is such bad news it’s not even funny. Stay as far away as possible. Don’t feel bad about all of the crazy behavior because who cares about these people anyway? I don’t know if she will return…she may not since you basically “outed” her but you never know. Block her number and run in the direction you should have been running all along. Any girl who brings a guy home to have sex in her boyfriend’s bed is really sickening and without a doubt, she would have done it to you.
  
  Zari:)
Joshua
August 29, 2017 at 6:29 pm Reply

Hello Zari,

I’ve recently been suffering a multitude of emotions while enduring my ex-gf’s (most recent) discard. I won’t tell you in detail about the many many acts of verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse I’ve experienced over the last 10yrs (the worst being infedilty, occuring repeatedly for the last 2yrs). I will tell you that I’ve been reading your studies on NPD, and it comes as somewhat of a relief to identify the direct cause for such malicious and cruel actions.
I say somewhat only because it is difficult for me to relive these heart-wrenching and devastating moments in my head, as well as facing the reality that someone I’ve felt so close to never truely felt the same for me. I confess, I still want to go back to the way things were. I know from your source material that this is unhealthy and futile to want, but I find it hard to admit and acknowledge that the best moments werw actually fabrications and not genuine.
It may be the element of another man that keeps me locked, so to speak, in a place of sorrow. Perhaps it is, in fact, a great many things. I really don’t know. I don’t necessarily have a question to ask, I just am struggling immensely to make sense of things, wrap my head around it, distract my thoughts, channel my hurt/pain/anger/rage in a positive direction…..you get the picture, I’m sure.
Another hindrance is that I’m not in a good place personally or professionally OUTSIDE of relationship issues. I feel that my relationship, however troubled it was, could keep me from depressive thoughts about where I am in my life. Now with all the pain and suffering of being thrown away with nothing but disrespect, ridicule, resentment, rejection, malice, a lack of compassion, etc., each day is much more of a struggle.
Its just not right to do this to someone for no justifable reason or without being held accountable. Years and years I was on trial for actions far less damaging and that was even after multiple apologies and acknowledgements of guilt on my part, and presumed forgiveness and understanding on hers. To go through all that only to suffer greater by way of a concealed contempt and resentment (possibly even hatred), with absolutely ZERO signs of remorse or sympathy is extremely hard to swallow and walk away from. Please give your thoughts on how to take control of these overwhelming thoughts and feelings, one day at a time……Thank you. I appreciate all you do for those who experience a similar pain.
Joshua
- Zari Ballard
  September 2, 2017 at 2:48 pm Reply
  
  Hi Joshua,
  
  I am so so sorry that you are feeling so sad:( Female narcs are the worst of the worst and all the guys that consult with me are devastated just like you. Believe me, you are not alone. No, the narc will not feel remorse or ever have an epiphany about what they have done to the people who love them. All you can do is shift your perspective of the whole thing and find closure in your own mind. You have to know that OUR SUFFERING CHANGES NOTHING and therefore we have the power to not suffer. A narc just goes on about her business no matter whether you suffer or not so we do have a choice. I’m not saying it’s easy but I am telling you without a doubt that it can be done. You deserve to be happy both personally AND professionally and only YOU have the power to make that happen, my friend.
  
  I just went to my personal gmail account and sent you a PDF copy of my book about the female narc. It will help you make sense of what happened and perhaps give a little boost for the day. The overwhelming thoughts are normal and we can’t always help that. The trick is to not let them linger…to glance at them and watch them float away. Eventually, they get the hint and stay away more and more. One step at a time and put yourself first. Her life will always be the same because she is what she is but YOUR LIFE doesn’t have to be that way.
  
  Stays strong, my brother….
  
  Zari xo
Joel Rosenblum
August 7, 2017 at 9:56 pm Reply

My wife (separated) has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar 1, PTSD, social anxiety, and a few other things at different times. It’s a long awful story. She beat up my mom 2 months ago. Tried to kill me a few years ago. Because of all her diagnoses it is a bit hard for me to understand how best to communicate with her (I have to because we share custody of our child). I realize the best thing is to keep communication minimal, tho I have a hard time with that sometimes because it seems like she creates drama when there is not enough attention on her. If there were some way I could escape and never have to talk to her again, without leaving my child to her, I would do it in an instant. But that is not looking realistic so far.
The worst part is she claims I am the one who has abused her, so she has Women Against Abuse representing her in custody battles, which saves her a ton of money and makes me look like the evil one so that judges automatically take her side, despite the fact that she is the one with the criminal record and the mental health record.
Oh yeah and did I mention she is a crystal energy healer, a massage therapist, a level 2 or 3 reiki master, among other amazing things? She truly is very talented in many areas. I just think it is ironic that someone so into healing work could be so evil.
I kind of feel like there is a part of her that is hidden deep inside which is honest, because I’ve communicated with that part of her at times, tho of course I might just be naive to think that, since it could just be another trick. I know that she suffers a lot. I really wish that one day she will just get tired of lying, since to me lying is a stressful thing, but on the other hand I guess she’s managed to convince herself that her lies are true.

Not sure why I am even posting this. I don’t expect any solutions really, tho I know there are some best practices that I may be not fully implementing. I guess it helps to know I’m not alone here dealing with these lunatics. Of course, nobody knows me from Adam on here so for all you know I am the psychopath and she is not. I met a woman a few years ago while my wife was in jail. We dated for a few weeks. Both of us happened to have sociopathic exes. But by the end of the few weeks each of us began to believe that the other was the actual sociopath rather than how we had framed it to each other.

Sorry if I am mixing up different words here like psychopath and sociopath. I know they mean different things but there seems to be a lot of overlap as well, in my experience.
- Zari Ballard
  September 2, 2017 at 3:27 pm Reply
  
  Hi Joel,
  
  Wow…please forgive me for taking so long to respond to you. I doubt very much that any woman who beats up your mother and tries to kill you has an “honest” side. Yes, this woman sounds talented alright but not in the areas that you allude to. She is clearly a sociopath – and I dare say a psychopath – and a very good con artist. But female narcs usually are and, thus, they have a way of gathering up quite a support group on their side. I hope that you have a good lawyer who “gets it”. The “healing” occupation doesn’t surprise me at all…it’s a very good cover. It sounds as if you have your work cut out for you. I, too, wish that you could keep from ever seeing her again without losing access to the kids. Wouldn’t THAT be heaven?
  
  Look, brother, I just sent you a copy of my book for the guys about the female narc. I sent it to you from my personal gmail account to your “nobodyXXX” email address. I think it will help you wrap your head around what she’s doing. Read it and then consider booking some time with me so that we can talk about it. Sounds like you need a little more detailed help than I can give here in this comment section:). Enjoy the book!
  
  Zari:)
Gregg
July 28, 2017 at 11:07 am Reply

Thank you for writing this article and respecting the male perspective. I was raised by a female narc (of who I never refer to as my mother–I was adopted at birth). The physical and mental abuse came at age 3. I had a difficult time remembering this as my brain blocked it out until I actually got help from a book How To Break Your Addiction To A Person. It helped reading and re reading the book. I finally admitted to myself it was not my fault and no one ever told me that or helped. I was also married to a narc for 10 years. It was pure hell. I realized it after we divorced and healed on my own. I am remarried to a wonderful woman who is very good to me. I work with an RN and a PhD (pharmacist), who are both narcs. I did not realize this at first, but then began to pick up little things that they would do and say. There were very good at their deception(s). I had made the mistake of revealing to them my own personal history. They turned on me very fast and furious. The PhD one day began yelling at me waving her hands and using profanity. This went on for about 10 minutes. I have complex PTSD so my reaction was severe. I had to call out 2 days. When I returned the RN I found out the RN (my boss) was friends with the PhD. The RN tried convincing me that the incident was partially my fault. I almost bought off on it. My wife and I were heart broken as we had allowed the PhD free reign on our lives and in our hearts. It took me nearly 2 -3 months to finally get resolve. She compounded the situation by claiming I had hurt her. My heart still hurts, but I am stronger. The RN is transferring to a new job (YAYAYAYAYAY). The PhD is still here and I deal with it on a day to day type basis. The union does not help as both the RN and PhD are very charismatic. My heart goes out to all the men that have suffered. Thank you once again for writing the book and this web site
- Zari Ballard
  August 23, 2017 at 11:23 pm Reply
  
  Hi Greg,
  
  So sorry for the delay in responding and how awful that you had to go through that! There’s nothing worse to me than when those in professional positions such as that RN and PHd use their professions as a cover for their deceitful ways. It truly makes me sick. The unfortunate thing is that I do hear about it regularly. How terribly sad for you and your wife but I am grateful that you have each other. Never allow ANYONE outside of those that you love full access to your life. You continue to get stronger and I wish you nothing but the best for you both. In your case, it sounds as if LOVE has the potential to truly conquer all. Thank you for sharing, my brother….
  
  Zari xo
Anthony O'Brien
July 19, 2017 at 1:08 am Reply

Bring male and victim of narristic socialpath ex wife feeling alone confused hurt lost afraid of nothing afraid of no one but afraid of her my ex wife and make things worse my sons mother nothing and no support groups info for men till and so far only you and this page! I appreciate it finially place to go read stories hear positives get advice!!! Thank you forever greatful and soon hope to share my story figure out how to keep it from not becoming book so many horrible things done been thru still going thru and trust being an Iraqi freedom veteran th Ugly been thru it all thought seen done heard felt worst of the worst and this has effected me cost me and messed me up so much more than my everyday times 10 I had in Iraq! Being combat veteran and special ops members training mental strengths needed had and or devolved thru it still no match for this any man feels less for being a VICTIM don’t taken me years to even say those words and see this for what it is there are positives we can get outa our unfortunate luck I’ll post later after my story thanks again thanks for advice wish all of us men and women best of luck and help with our healing !!!!! Anthony
- Zari Ballard
  July 23, 2017 at 8:25 pm Reply
  
  Hi Anthony!
  
  You are not alone, brother:) All of us are here to support you…I am so sorry about what you are going through. I am going to go to my personal email right now and send you a copy of my book about female narcs because it will really help you. I will send it to the email that you used to post your message. Please look for it and feel free anytime to post your story…
  
  Zari xo

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