Debunking the Narcissist’s Smear Campaign

How do I effectively support someone whose ex narc husband is doing a smear campaign and my client believes he is out to destroy her. He may be actually doing a smear campaign, I am not sure, but this is her reality and it is causing great distress. Because she has trauma perceptions could be distorted. And, we do know that narcs do smear campaigns.

So how do I effectively support someone who believes there is a smear campaign occurring? Client is not in the place to hear that he is targeting her unhealed wounds and that on a vibrational level she is contributing to this reality. So how do I validate her reality and help her through this challenging time without sounding trite? I keep reminding her to keep working on her healing but I don’t think this is enough in the way of support. Also, she still has to see him because they have kids. Finally, anything I say to try and support seems to make her more upset and angry and her response is “you don’t understand, he is the worst of the worst, a covert, malignant narc” as she is crying. Thank you for any input you can provide! I don’t know that suggesting staying silent would be effective, I just don’t think she will take it in because this is causing her so much distress.

Dear Zari,

My Name Iman, now i am in Jakarta, Indonesia.
i am afraid all my communication will be intercept, abuse and sabotage. I am like hopeless now.

I have been a target from someone that i knew 9 years ago, i just know now that she doesn’t have empathy. Until now i have been abuse all the time, i cannot report to police or anybody because she is very clever. I cannot show the prove. she can play in the grey area.

Any one must be never talk about me (she play ‘please do not tell act’). I am afraid it will be boomerang to me, or twist the story that I am predator and she only a victim. In my country usually woman get domestic violence, so when I defense myself, no one trust me. In most people mind, woman usually a victim not a predator. That is way I fell always hopeless. She is expert play with our logic, Expert of reading people/what people will react after her social setting and Pathological liar.

In my opinion she also have ability power and money. So she can convince (too good to be true story) everyone to abuse me. She want to destroy my mental, career and human relationship. All my email account, phone, social media, message, anything can be intercept. I am not sure this email can be intercept too.

She always smear/black campaign/character assassination, defamation, play victim, drama, gossip, rumor about me, all my defense word can be twist and like boomerang that can attack me again, like say i am the mentally unstable/crazy one, have an infectious disease, addict to drug or have criminal record, terrorist, etc. I also have attention to detail to everything so that is easy to spread the rumor. She also has steal many data (video/sound record/photo etc.) of my privacy and my politic opinion and will be spread out to convince everyone, so politic person will attack and humiliate me. I have pace many manipulation situation using people surrounding me that exhaust my commonsense. Usually after abuse she always convince people that it is a joke. I also afraid she has ability to kill me but looks like an accident.

Every time i search for the job, somehow every employer canceled my contract because smear campaign without prove based. So i cannot search job to abroad, because somehow it will fail. Luckily I still can stay in my current job, but outside that, my life full of abuse and sabotage. Now i live in constant fear there is no sign it will be end. Now i have little anxiety and fear/phobia to meet people in public are. But i hope it will recover soon if it is over.

In my opinion she also has ability to track people from people signal phone. she has privilege and easy to get it. So she will easy to send chain message to spread the rumor. I am like in an isolation area. Many people surrounding me has bad assumption about me, but they never tell the true.

Yes i had have mistake, sometime i defend my self, after i read your article, i will be silent.

She always stalking/smear me Silently/secretly/indirectly etc, with her technology ability and convince people, so she will know what I am doing almost every time at any place and it will be abuse or sabotage.

Iman

Hi Zara. My brother is currently the victim of his wife’s smear campaign and I am having to watch him suffer which is awful. She has made a discusting lie about what he’s done to her and police are involved . When. That wasn’t enough she then made one of the children lie to say he has hit them which is also lies. I guess she didn’t want to share them. All this camera completely out of the blue and my brother had no incling of it coming at all. I have done a testament to police and social services as has my brothers ex partner to try and support the fact she is mentally I’ll. But from what I see narcissist personality disorder is so hard to diagnose. My brother has a solicitor on the case for contact as he now hasn’t seen his children for three weeks. He has never even been away for a night from them before. So far she has ensured he’s lost his home and possibly access to kids and job if the police beleive her. There’s no evidence anywhere to suggest they were in a violent relationship and as police have her phone I hope they will see this. We have all remained silent but it is very very hard!!!! She has posted stuff on Facebook too.

He is living with me at the moment and I have to watch this pain she is causing him it’s just devastating. I just hope the professionals can see through it somehow. For the record my brother has many professional people willing to testify if need be including a police Sargent. Be grateful for any advice or positive stories!!

Tara

When it’s been over a year and it’s still goes on trying to make me lose my job is pretty annoying

Thank you for this information as to how to deal with a smear campaign. I am dealing with this at the moment and have been very upset today by the blatant lies he is telling his family, then I get criticism from them. This is despite the emotional, sexual and financial abuse I have suffered over the years, most of which they are aware of. I tried to defend myself today but I think I will try staying silent in future. I cannot have another day like today when I let it get to me so much.

I got entangled with a narcissist 2 years ago but at the time I thought of him as a young kid with a big crush on me. He said a couple of vulgar things to me and watched and stared at me at every opportunity. I stopped talking to him and he never asked why. Forward to last month, when I asked for help for something simple at work and to meet me at my cubicle at a certain time. He decided to be with one of his so-called girlfriends. I let off steam on my own facebook page but didn’t mention his or her name. A coworker read my post and told me to take it down, unfortunately he showed the post to ‘N’ The following week I found out that ‘N’ & a male friend took this to HR. I wasn’t brought into HR or my supervisor’s office but was talked to by a member of my Union. A coworker and friend told me to keep quiet and not to bring it up. From that point ‘N’ has yelled insults at his so-called girlfriend and trained her to do most of his jobs so he can strut around the office and do nothing. It made me feel good to know that through this I have found I have more friends and he has more enemies.

I am looking for smear campaign and I came across your site.I will remain silent it’s his friends anyway. I just want him to leave ,he thinks my apartment is his.I will just have to b e patient.